Abowth

Histury of Group X – Arabian Rap Sensations by Gene L. Siskel (2018)

Hashmeer Shashmeer aka moist Towellette was born in Cramshananteen, SA in approximately 1945 which is year 232 in Cramshananteen. Hashmeer took up rapping to fill his time, and because he saw a few videos of a rap mentor in town advertising on telephone poles. He visited this mentor in the mountains and set forth on a tutelage with now regarded Best rapper ever to live, and mentor of Hashmeer, 1-pak. It is rumored that 1-pak once moved a mountain with a rhyme. It is also rumored that 1-pak magnetically activated each microphone in the world at the same time at 3:34 pm central standard time east coast, which resulted in the current gas prices, but also killed 1-pak from the energy-release. We do know that famous rapper 2 pac also underwent a tutelage at the same time as Hashmeer. 2 pac even named himself in honor of best rapper ever and his mentor, knowing that he could never live up to 1-pak’s greatness. Hashmeer met DJ Erik Turturro and Peppermint Joe in Cramshananteen in year 253 (1978 USA), and they formed a band because they all worked at the same fish market. Many times, they were caught rehearsing on breaks. In attempt to meet lots of American ladies, they decided to try and take their act to America after winning a Terri’s hot dog stand rap-off between any willing contestant and a chicken. Just before the ship’s departure, Hashmeer got a hankering for Terri’s famous hot dog and fries, and a Classic Coke, and changed his ticket to the 5:15 pm ship while DJ Erik and Peppermint Joe maintained course. It was a miracle of fate because DJ Erik and Peppermaint Joe’s ship was struck by lightning and capsized, leaving Hashmeer’s band buddies in disarray and Hashmeer safely en route to New York. Upon arrival, Hashmeer was confused because he thought his friends would arrive before him. He waited 2 days and decided to put an ad in the paper and hire two replacement musicians in order to fulfill his obligation to the local open-mic gig he had booked in his mind at the local Freddie’s. Blade and Rex responded to the ad and Hashmeer hired them on a whim because they all knew a man named Benny, although not the same Benny. Within weeks Group X – Arabian Rap Sensations was a success, and this success lasted for 2 years from 1998 USA to 2000.

Hashmeer decided that his newly-acquired fame would allow him to run for goat-counselor, which is an elected office in Cramshananteen and can have a remote campaign. Undergoing a political investigation from abroad at this time was of no interest to Hashmeer. Deciding it would be best to hide out from the Cramshananteen government, which at the time was a cow, Hashmeer fled all over the world, hiding out in many places, with instructions for Blade and Rex to keep the band going. Hashmeer released a solo album called “Geev Five Doller” in 2008 to update fans as to his whereabouts, and gains through experience, realizing people are not bad and if attacked, should only retaliate with cherry sauce or mayonnaise, as opposed to harder weapons. By this time Blade and Rex had lost steam, and decided instead to attend shoe-making school fulltime. Hashmeer, realizing it was his duty to revive Group X, decided to bring himself back to the band as a treat to the audience, “and boy did it work” – Gene Siskel (2005). After Hashmeer’s solo album, Hashmeer welcomed back DJ Erik Turturro and Peppermaint Joe in 2017, as they finally made it to NYC. Erik had since attained a law degree at the local law school, which is now a Dairy Queen part II, and only opened on Sundays. Peppermaint Joe was still a drummer. Excited to revive the fans, they released The Return of Peppermaint Joe in October of 2018. Now Group X Arabian Rap Sensations lives on as normal, fulfilling fans’ expectations with new and interesting content, and further developing their lives here in the states. IT IS ALSO RUMORED THAT: Group X began as the Wheeler Wildcat drumline in Marietta, Ga. in 1997…