-Offishul Lest uv Baind Mehmbehrs ain Speshul or Recurring Charicturs in baind, on rekords, or ait Group X shows-
- Hashmeer Shashmeer aka Moist Towellette: Voice, lyric, maik band, wroting of songs, Spacetron macshine mix engineering baist aind Maister of Taithies, hot towellette now 2nd aka to be unveiled in subsiquint releese
- 1-pak: menthor of Hashmeer ain baist rappur evhur. Evin famus rapper calling 2-pac naim himsailf 2nd best in homage
- Ice-pac: browther uv mentor 1-pak. He use a coil wun thyme two write a rhyme
- The “G-O-T-E” (greatist uv the earth whain it come to rhyme but steel alivhe): Hashmeer aka Moist Towellette
- The GOTE: this ambigyooashun of The “G-O-T-E” sea abuv
- DJ Thomas Selleck: Private Investigativ Jurnalist: he investigait ain he find thing weth crimeenul frum Yew Nork to Myam
- Ghost of 1-pak: c abuv but eet 1-pak buth deadth vurshun
- DJ Hazard: Bezz Guitron forty cheesestakes later and forty furst cheesestakes
- Rocket: New Piepot drowms of Group X ain he awlso hev nighth jowb for digging sheth
- DJ Erik Turturro, Attorney at Law, aka Karen Smeth “The Harpsichord”: 3rd original bass player – returhned to Cramshananteen aifter recording Peppermaint Joe albhum becawse he neehd fininsh sertin law degree coarses, fyred
- Pepperment Joe: 3rd original drowmmer, now returned, currently work at Jerry Hut, fyred by Hashmeer
- Blade Razorr aka DJ 1-2 punch: hired temporarily in 1998 two replace DJ Erik turturro on bass unteel erik return weth shep, fyred
- Rex Wif Da Machine aka DJ Rock Solid: hired temporarily in 1998 to drum piepots until Peppermaint Joe make it to Yew Nork, fyred by tha GOTE
- White Chocolate: Guest rapper, beatboxer and backing vocals (the only one claiming to be a “white / American” character)
- Jahwn: hot string on 3,7,9 40 oz. Slushie – baist guitar coach heving he in cramshananteen
- Natural Disaster: yails on 40 oz. Slushie aind Stepping on Crowtche, bodeegard, cymbal set-up
- Haht Pauwkett: originul alias of White Chocolate, who rap on many shet like main on White Chocolate Group X hey it abowt heez baind “White Chocolate” an the X
- Maverick DiCaprio AKA Big Shanty: Hailp making best of Group X own albex unteel Cheesestake
- Obveeus Bandit: steels in a slow fashun while occashonoly vomit claim chowdir on yu ait Group X show
- Patron Saint: mercinary, will desind from tiled ceeling at show ain kell oon babhie evry time u eet Captain’s Wafer cracker
- Toot toot red cahndies: a food
- Sue frum Waffle Hut: a lahdie, proud uv waffles
- Stinky Madison aka Powerglove: maister 40 oz slushie weef his toot-toot mashine, cymbal set-up
- Chiropractor Doug Hewitt: Chiropractor for baist adjowst, friend of yancy, rown for office in general election, car poster
- Torch: originul character
- Pushcart: originul charictur
- Truck: originul character
- Jerrie: akwaintance of Eddie
- Eddie: know Jerrie
- One-Cat Wonder: meow on Geev Five Doller aind bee yond
- Warshington Jaif: howt string on two many guys ain white choc ain rollerskait part 2
- The King of Africa (Dainny Advainthej) – speshul rap for Good Girl Yais part 2
- Midnaite Snhacke: yell loud on White Chocolate part 2, Jordan Erikson staig alius
- Pirate Chuchuch: he giv a good Arrrr on bang me bang aka Bang Bang Bang
- Eric the Cait: meowrfs on Bang Bang Bang
- minx: scream like oon cait on meny sowngs
- The 3 French Hens: Raip groop frum Fraince, heving 3 mehmbers hoo rap abowth zham ain poulette / beeceeclewttes, also flute
- MC Matradie Marc Cherie: Leed singher uv the 3 French Hens: lives in Paris, loves “Za Tower”, plays flute, attractive
- MC matria d’ Pitted Prune: 2nd rapper in 3 French hens, best on bassoon and also a matriadie, shorter than the others
- MC maitre d’ Scwamble Egg: 3rd membher uv ze 3 French hens rapp groop, taiks pwivate lessons on the flute
- Cherie, Marie, and Antoinette: checks who meet the 3 French Hens around near the Champs Elysese
- The Bad Gents: awlso franes of Hashmeer who whain he fownd on hiz jurney hiding owt, mowst peeple goodth, use maynaisse
- Chocaree Chew: Oriental rapp gaing started uv cool kedth, parints own caindy gais stashun
- Queen Golirra (Caco Bainks): God uv Chocaree Chew, who they desided to pray to
- Belly Good: rapper in Chocaree Chew, kick lime with clew, eet only chocaree chew, put all vanilla in an envelope manirra
- Dowg: appeer in meny sowngs
- Remon Rime: Choracee chew rapper, lips limes, rhyme slice like samaruia sword, rhyme so good you think it’s haiku
- Cait: he bain thare
- ghost uv 1-pak: he visit Hashmeer often
- Onion Ear: backup rapper for MC Dickbone, croatian, one ear is replaced with onion by accident in surgery
- MC Dickbone: censored see Geev Five Doller solo album of Hashmeer Shashmeer ain frains
- DJ Hydrogen Peroxide: Best DJ in Cramshananteen maiking beets for Hashmeer ain wurk elictronically for ain weth cawse they franes
- DJ Yiggity Yoonderpahnts: 2nd best DJ in Cramshananteen
- Glain: Hev operait See of Thyme, heving meecrowaiv, now meecrowaiv broke
- The 18th Century Gentlemen: appeer on Geev Five Doller curtesy of Time Capsul, tame mares for the sake of personal pride and fortune
- Jereny Jesus: membher uv 18th Century Gentlemen, twizzles canes, tames mares Like a vicious teddy roosevelt, knows canes
- General Bouregaurd: proprietor of The 18th Century Gentlemen, estate proprietor, reluctant father of Lieutenant Bouregaurd
- Lieutenant Bouregard: clarinet for 18th century gentlemen, nearly forgotten son of General Bouregaurd, hopes to take over the estate
- The Baker’s Dozen: friends of Hashmeer, 13 guys who would’ve failed cooking school if it weren’t for their mnemonic-device rhymes
- The Christmas Freaks: friends of Hashmeer, literally upset unless it is the month of December, find the other months too hot
- Brance aka or incorrectly referred to as “Bobby McPrescott”: little boy on cheese sowng, advized by Block of Cheese
- Mr. Block of Cheese: appears on Stepping on the Crowtche courtesy of Americans Dairy Farm
- Mackingtosh 381000 Computron: gaits paised on “Bang Bang Bang”
- Christemass Reeves – hoaps on “Bang Bang Bang”
- Hillairy Clintock: sexytalkes on “Rollerskate Date”
- Parmelatt Andersown: gaits arouwsaed on “Pay For Your Gas or Lose Your I.D.”
- Agent Cathe: knows the secrits of dezire, takes vedeyo evidince
- Brick Pehnis: deck ez oon breck
- Fraish Paick: long lowst adowptid browhter of 1-pak and ice-pac, said not to hev inheritid the rhyme genes bowt goodth at marbuls
- Cold-pak: therapist uv 1-pak ain Ice-pac, slight influence on 1940s rhyme-struckture of Ice-pac
- Schmaiero Twins: One hev redth, one hev green, faistest Twens yu evhur scene, collect mushedroom aind coyn
- Derek Shashmeer (debut in 2030): sun of Hashmeer, future singer uv Group X, oath sined in cramshananteen en 1945