The Return of Peppermaint Joe (2018)

01 Whut Eet Happened

20 years ago, in Cramshananteen…

ship main: Shep leaving, thait ship is leeving, Ship leaving!

Hashmeer: Uh ok DJ Turturro, Peppermaint Joe, listen,
I go get hotdog staind and we go on thees ship.
You go on not me
I go get het dug
And uh i taik the 5:15 sheep,
and we will meet in Yew Nork, yais?

DJ Erik Turturro attorney at law aka Karen Smeth “The Harpsichord”: Oh ok, sownding good

Peppermaint Joe: Oh thees goodth, i do this

(Hashmeer walk on shore to hut dug staind)

Hot dowg maine: Hut dug, Hot dog, geht yur hut dog ain chep, Pifteen cent

Hashmeer: Uh, i take a hut dowg and a Coak…

Hot dowg maine: We haiv it

Hashmeer: Classik!

Hot dowg maine: fine. pay fifteen caint

Hashmeer: Oh what, you wawnt me to pay for eet??!

(Storm starht, baick ait ship it’s DJ Erik Turturro aind Peppermaint Joe fiting for their lives)

Peppermaint Joe: Oh shet, the shep, DJ Erik Turturro

DJ Erik: No, no , no, hailp, no hailp

Peppermaint Joe: Yes, oh thait is problum, that ship broke!
We going down, we not gon maik it t’ Yew Nork… “Hailp”!!

DJ Erik: Oh, dont forget my Bed Baith aind Beyondhe coupwonette

Peppermaint Joe: I have the coupwonette, Saiv yursailf, Saiv yursailf!!!
Oh Godth, Hashmeer going to be madth

DJ Erik: No! hailp! hailp!

Peppermaint Joe: Hailp! Son of shet, also my Bed Baith aindhe Beyondhe coupwonette!
I cannot find eet…
Hailp!

Dj Erik: hailp!

Peppermaint Joe: Oh Godth, Hashmeer going to hev to uze other peopul in his baind eef we do not make it!…
Don’t wurry Hashmeer! We gonna geht thare!

(20 yeers latur they maik it to Yew Nork ain album begins)

02 Poisoned My Poodle

Hey
U ever had a dowg, who died
He didth, cawse of meatball

You Poisoned my Poodle
You Poisoned my Poodle
You Poisoned my Poodle
You Poisoned my Poodle

Leestin

3 yrs old, i get dog
Parents say do you want hog
I say no i dont want hog
Very next day, i get dug
Et ees poodle it ees gud
It ees baist en neighborhood
Eet somtime meesunderstood
Still it ded jowst wut it could to
Stay alive
Neighborhood ked
Over age 5 heers what they ded
They are blaimeeng thees on uh lady
Lady turn around ain she blaim it on baby
Dep meetbawl en antifreeze
Throw eet to dog mixed with oon noodle
Thes iz why i can not sit and eet oon appul stroodle

You Poisoned my Poodle
You Poisoned my Poodle
You Poisoned my Poodle
You Poisoned my Poodle
You Poisoned my Poodle
You Poisoned my Poodle
Thes iz why i can not sit and eet oon appul stroodle

Peppermint joe
He age 5
Heez dug tried 2 stay uhlive
Eet wuz a poodle
Eet waz tall
Eet also receeve uh meatbawl
Guess who dedth it
Neighborhood ked it
Didnt matter they
Didnt get sadder
After they throw oon anteefreeze meet
Now hiz dog ez dedth in tha street
So i go to store
Get oon paper
And uh penciuellette
Pay for eet later
Saw tha kedth
Eye said hey
Whut it iz yur doing today
I have penciulette an payper
Do you wawnt too doodle
I say no u can not because you
Poisoned my Poodle

You Poisoned my Poodle
You Poisoned my Poodle
You Poisoned my Poodle
You Poisoned my Poodle
You Poisoned my Poodle
You Poisoned my Poodle
Thes iz why i can not sit and eet oon appul stroodle

03 Littul Joe

L iz four little
I wheel nut tell ewe a riddle
Yes, he bite
He bite me in tha middul uv night
I wuz heving snaik ain he
Wunt uh peece uv treat
I say too baidth oon doggie cait
Cawse ewe are nut yoonique
I staip on heez littul feet
Thain he do a littul squeak
I said who ewe are tryeeng to be
Ewe are nut
Little Bo Peep
I dont even know who littul Bo Peep ez
I just assuming it iz
One uv tha neighborhood kedth
Thees information making littul joe pezzed off
Get off heez baick laig ain dep hiz front paw in dippin sawce
Put heez paws up on my shret ain sed thees u need to know that
LITTUL JOE iz littul joe

L is for Littul and
J is for Joe
O is for the O in tha middul ov Joe
E iz four oon doggie why caint ewe sea that
L I T T U L J O E iz Littul Joe

He bit my kedth oh
Yais he dedth
He bet hem on tha
Leg and head
He bit him with tha rhythm
Like he wawnted him deadth
(He said it)
But i couldnt let it happen
I dont need to go geht captain
I am captain
I am general
Keck littul joe in tha middul of Genitul
He let out a “Yarr!” in general
He know thees moment eez pivotal
He know that I heving force
He calling me Mr. Centripital
Now when littul sees me
He joe and duz buleev me
He said it is like watching a TV
It is so EZ
Easier than Candy Cain
Easier than Hamburgrette
Easier than Hut Dug
Thees is why he don’t forget and
Now he walking by politely and
Dont even step on toe
Aind that is tha Storee of l.i.t.t.u.l. joe

L is for Littul and
J is for Joe
O is for the O in tha middul ov Joe
E iz four oon doggie why caint ewe sea that
L I T T U L J O E iz Littul Joe

L is for Littul and
J is for oon Joe
O is for the O in tha middul ov Joe
E iz four oon doggie why caint ewe sea that
L I T T U L J O E iz Littul Joe

04 TJ Maxx PM

I saw you whain you look baick at
40% off raick of TJ Maixx
It was uh PM
And you having uh kidth
With ewe with oo haircut
Yais ewe dedth and
I know you like me cawse you look back twice
So whut ur kidth fail off a kittycart trike
He or she is ok now baick to dait
I jowst heving a spraybaith an i know ewe cant weight

Go Hashmeer Go Hashmeer Go
Go Hashmeer Go Hashmeer Shashmeer
Go Hashmeer Go Hashmeer Go
Go Hashmeer Go Hashmeer Shashmeer

I told ewe to meet me back at TJ
Maxx in tha PM and you didnt come baick
I told ewe to meet me back at tha TJ
Maxx in tha PM and you didnt come baick

I want a date
You want a date
Whut else dew you show up to uh PJ Maxx late
Your kedth iz recovery from hospital
I know you like me don’t make eet a reedul
You heard littul bit thees ain thait
You heard Hashmeer saying Bezbol Bat
Now your Kooty Kait it want to attraict me
Thain you think How close will TJ Maix be
Thain you go to it
Thain you do it
Try to caitch me in a baskit like fru-it
Maybe like orange
Maybe like Ba-nan
Maybe saying that you go for sale is a plan
You hole out your haind
Say I take a vest, I taik a sowk, I like a TJ Maix Baist
Bowt ewe reel-y want me
I know frum how yur bein
I know it why you go to
TJ Maix in tha PM

Go Hashmeer Go Hashmeer Go
Go Hashmeer Go Hashmeer Shashmeer
Go Hashmeer Go Hashmeer Go
Go Hashmeer Go Hashmeer Shashmeer

I told ewe to meet me back at TJ
Maxx in tha PM and you
Didnt come baick
You must have misunderstood ain
Theenk i saying AM when i really saying PM
Bowt i know you go in AM cawse
I asking a ladhie in uh cashier outfit
About ith
She know it wuz ewe
No doubt abowt eet
Becawse ewe heving uh tennais shoe ain uh cow-tip
How didth ewe nut go to TJ Maix in tha PM

I told ewe to meet me back at tha TJ
Maxx in tha PM and you
Didnt come baick
You must have misunderstood ain
Theenk i saying AM when i really saying PM
Bowt i know you go in AM
Becawse
I asking a ladhie in uh cashier outfit
About ith
She know it wuz ewe
No doubt abowt eet
Becawse ewe heving uh tennais shoe ain uh cow-tip
How didth ewe nut go TJ Maix in tha PM

05 Frankie Pee Pee Shert

Frankie, Frankie, Yais i know Frankie Pee Pee Shert…
etc.

-Why all tha ladies wawnt to dew a touch on frankie?
Becawse he has a shret of pee-pee aind it is not stainky
-And why all the ladies want to do a slip-n-slide?
Because he has a pee pee shret and on it they will glide (SAY WAWTH?!)

Frankie, Frankie, Yais i know Frankie Pee Pee Shert…
Pee Shert, PeePee Shert, Pee shret, pee-pee shert. etc

Ohhh Sprekoonzy Sheth
It is a remix
toot-toot besh
Leestin:

Pee-Pee in tha shert and Pee Pee in the shert (say what?)
pee pee in the shert and pee pee in your shirt (schiggity-what?!)
frankie like to go to wurk
Frankie like to pee his shert
frankie like to go to wurk
Frankie like to pee his shert

so Pee-Pee in tha shert and Pee Pee in the shert (say what?)
pee pee in the shert and pee pee in tha shret (schiggity-what?!)
frankie like to go to work
Frankie like to pee his shert
frankie like to go to wurk
Frankie like to pee his shert

so Pee-Pee in your shert and Pee Pee in the shert
pee pee in your shert and pee pee in shirt
frankie like to go to wurk
Frankie like to pee his shert
frankie like to go to wurk
Frankie like to pee his shert

06 It Iz Poodul

Go! Go! Go Hashmeer! Go!…

(Bark) (Bark) (Bark) (Bark)…

It is Poodul, it iz goodth
It is best in neighbyoorhood
It-It is Poodul, it iz goodth
It is best in neighbyoorhood…

07 Hershey Kess

Up on tha bed that’s
What she said
I didnt know whut it meant
I went
Up on tha bedth
I got uh sorprise
She haid thyme to practees
It’s what she spent
She ded a hot dogglie and a
Diggity dowggie
On my diggitydeck and uh
Doggity diggly
I said where yur bowt showp
Piggaly wiggaly
She said it iz bacon
Now u r makin
Me to geth, weth in the B U T
B U T thet’s what i always dedth
Bowt i downt wawnt relationshep, an i downt wawnt to give you uh ked
She said that’s goodth, im in a good moodth
I give you a kess but tha kind is Hershey
Gonna do eet while u get uh beef jerkey
I said whut thees mean, i thought she said turkey
I dont know anything about turkey saix
Bowt i bet they hev No Re-Grets
Back to this, lady who kais
Somewhere in my underettes
I did not know that ewe could do thes
Thought it for shetthies not for lips
Now she gaiv my life a twest
When she did me a Hershey’s Kess

Dont miss
Dont twist
Dont lift
Up on tha bed that’s what she said
That’s when she gave me a Hershey’s Kess

I hed a reaction to it do you
Know thet plainty owf people do thees
Yais, praisidaint fraink
He even pay for eet wif hiz piggy baink
Understaind eet takes a main i have oon plain i like this hershey
Geev me to it now from uh lady who are curvy, skinny or twainty or downt disurve me
I will taik oon Kess, aind
I do nut meen on tha laips
I want Hershey town
Thees why she aisk me turn around
Legs on thu bedth thait’s whut she said and
I culd nut reply cause I
Trying to say ok whain she
Taking uh byte uv uh hershey pie

Dont miss
Dont twest
Dont lyft
Up on tha bed that’s what she said
That’s when she did me a Hershey’s Kess

08 Rubix Cube

Hashmeer is very good at rubix cube
Hashmeer is very good at rubix cube
Good at rubix cube even when in badth moodth
Good at rubix cube even when in badth moodth

Hey
Hashmeer is very good ait rubix cube
So goodth
Thet i put you in a bad moodth
So goodth thet i maik a kid geht rude
Because i hev a rubix cube ain
He dont hev a tannies shoe
I bet he try make a red towch a redth
I look
He hev one in green white instead
He is not better
Better taik a letter
Kid chardon swess
I Yew Nork cheddar
Better than San Diego crownchers but at uh rubix cube
I want uh rubix cube
So i
Cain maik you old pastry Hashmeer is Pie
Challinge me ait rubix
You better nut try
Cause i can chop opponients in every eyelidth
Hashmeer duz a rubix
Ain tha jowdges geth silent
I went walkin down tha strit with a rubix
And all of tha ladies saYS we know you can do eet cause

Hashmeer is very good at rubix cube
Hashmeer is very good at rubix cube
Good at rubix cube even when in badth moodth
Good at rubix cube even when in badth moodth

Green Red White, Align
Hashmeer so goodth fix rubix cyoob evhrey thyme
Hashmeer so goodth veemin getthing in line cause
Hashmeer eez lemin, you are lime
Thyme to practees, i guess ewe dont have eet
So good at rubix that ewe
Theenk eet iz a magic
Jaick in tha bowx
No i dont play thees
Card? Keep yur jokrette ain yur aces
Taste is like
Taste uv a feet
So good at rubix that eye
Do it in sleep
Weep like a minx
I told you
You baid ait rubix
No veemin want hold you, saidth
Crab cake
And mad face, you have
Try to dew a rubix but you jowst geht a laugh
Paist yur bed thyme, so eet thyme two go
Naixt thyme you do rubix eet iz baist yu know thait

Hashmeer is very good at rubix cube
Hashmeer is very good at rubix cube
Good at rubix cube even when in badth moodth
Good at rubix cube even when in badth moodth

Here iz Secret
Red Green White: Align
Red in tha middle of white: Twest
Green in tha middle uv redth: Remove
Three redth, or three green: Keep
Three redth, or three white: downt touch
Green in tha middul uv uh red: Fix
Green white green? Sheft
Redth in tha midul uv a green? Trowncate
Green green redth? Wrowng
Green in tha middul uv a whithe: feex ith
White in tha midul uv a green: try again
Three green, or three white? yu got eet
Red in tha midul uv uh blue: not a rubix cube
Whithe in tha middul uv uh green: Twest
White in tha meedul uv uh red: feex it
Three green, or three red: Keep

09 Classik Coak

Go to pick up tha tiny bubbles
Not tha kine that’s gehtting ewe in trouble
Bowwbles uv soda, that is whut i told her
Gaiv me bowt bubbles from here to Minneesota
Go on uh rampaige to geht uh sprite
Why ewe dewe thait
I Classeek Coak all night
I dreenk it at a patry
Where a lady think she smartypant
Thain she drink a jimmy dean and she can no longer dance
Fall into bicyclette
That is whut u geht
You werent equip
Pais baig uv Chep
I need em to go weef thees classic soda
It’s not paranoyee i already tol ya
The bowbles muve buth theyre not uhlive and
Maybe one day you find uh Prize in Side
Eet tha soda weef tha tiny red stripe
But not uh raid strype, thet is not uh soda
Come to find off it’s a bread drink ive found
That makes you wawlk funny ain ewe sleep on tha ground, i steel
Listen to tha sound of tha Group X dug pund
We also like lion so i guess we dog lion
Besh said she equip i said Besh Stop Lyin
There’s no denyin i wawnt two classeek coak
You only brought won so ewe theenk eet iz joke
HaHaHa, laughing to yur car
Person who dreenk jowst Coak you are
U know they cawl eet classeek because a majeek
Oh you didnt know thees, that a littul trageec
Look at my face, i not going to have it

I don’t wawnt uh Coak
I want a Classik Coak
I don’t wawnt uh Coak
I want a Classik Coak
I don’t wawnt uh Coak
I want a Classik Coak
Look at my faice, it iz not joke
You know whut? Im tired uv this! U do not bring a Classeeek

Time to practice, it iz not uh baickflep
I say breeng uh Classek, you bring back uh crapshit
Mad is Hashmeer and baid iz you
For this thing you do that what is calling Fountain Dew
I should report you to tha general store
And not letting you go on erraind for me enymore
Take it as uh major advices
The reel classik coak is won of my vices
Bet you downt nut gev it too me in uh vicegrip
Eff eye downt hev it? Full owf baid surprises
I count one, five, three
By that tyhyme you giv a classik coak to me
I hev cell phone you hev uh rotary
Totally, do you know what i mean
Ain if ewe dew knot
Thain you miss tha poo powt
Crying a lot, ain afraid uv Ro-Bot
Why hev a baskit ain not taik uh shot? that’s like
Not getting classic and getting coak a lot
Or not getting buttuex in plaid pokla dot
I haid to gait a lowt
Eet saying Don’t Stop
I downt stowp unttel eye maik shure it’s classik
Drive motor minuette or automagic
U can laugh if u want bowt you caint
Try not to laugh and then get a gas paint
Then a gais paint literally turn to crapshith
Battle hashmeer hey, eet’s ur last wish
Like a potato who just got a Mash-ed
Bet next time you maik sure coke is classic

I don’t wawnt uh Coak
I want a Classik Coak
I don’t wawnt uh Coak
I want a Classik Coak
I don’t wawnt uh Coak
I want a Classik Coak
Look my faice, it iz not joke

I don’t wawnt uh Coak
I want Classik Coak
I don’t wawnt uh Coak
I want a Classik Coak
I don’t wawnt uh Coak
I want Classik Coak
Look at my faice, it not joke

10 Dip Meetball

Dip meetball in antifreeze
Dip-dip meetball in antifreeze
Dip meetball in antifreeze
Dip-dip meetball in antifreeze
Dip meetball in antifreeze
Dip-dip meetball in antifreeze
ain now your poodul hev oon sneeze….

(bark) (bark) (bark bark bark) (bark)

11 Jerry to Eddie

Eddie to Jerry, Jerry to Eddie
Eddie to Jerry, Jerry to Eddie
Eddie to Jerry, Jerry to Eddie
One eez a hairy and one iz never reddy

Lait me tail ewe abowt Jerry aind Eddie
Won hev a hairs likea parthy confetti
Won iz never ready
For oon dait ain
Won at a video gaim iz a grate
Won hev a late fee
Over ait super stacy’s
One hait cheeze ain thain thee
Owther won ait cheeze
Won likea bakery
Won likea bezbol
Won likea movie with Travolt calling Spezbawl, u know thet one
Won likea bycyclette
Won like a trikuklette
Won like armenian idolette
He watch it every nite
Ain won hev oo sanduwech ain
Downt takea byte
Won hev a tightlight
Won hez yoonderbite
Won hez oo yoonderpaints tight ain won
Won ait corporashun he bows
But whain he play at uh sloot machine he lowst
One hev auh nowmber 1, won hev uh caulk gun
One hev uh breed calling docks-hunt
Othur hev uh dait, He go
The other hev a lait fee ain He Dont Even know
Bet he wown’t pay ith
One have a Daybeet
One he refuse to use a credit
Let it go
I jowst tailling ewe sew
Thee deefrinces between thaim you will No

Eddie to Jerry, Jerry to Eddie
Eddie to Jerry, Jerry to Eddie
Eddie to Jerry, Jerry to Eddie
One eez hairy and one iz never reddy

Lait me tale you a secerette like a majeek
Jerry hev uh baithroom ain Eddie downt hev it
Eddie haiv oo Baithtowb
Jerry hev foootrub
Both uv thaim haiv two glove too shoe
Two waleet, meecroesoft bowth uv thaim install it
Eddie see a telie phowne bowt Jerry maybe cawl eet
Bowth uv thaim haiv two sowck one shoe
Bowt at crowswawlk Jerry dont know what to do
Jerry hev oo fooot caik
Eddie haiv paincake
Eddie’s mowm baik bowt
Not as goodth ais Jerrie’s mowm
I taiste won uv their caikes, ain
Eddie’s mowm aid howt sawce az mistake
Jerry like futball
Eddy six feet tall
Jerry stowck mowthbawll
Eddie eat uh meetbawl
Jerry know how to rown
Ain eddie pay tain for a rubber baind gown
I dont know wheech bowt one of had uh meecrowwaiv
I theenk it waz tha one weeth tha crowded environment
I think thait waz Jerry bowt it culd hev been Eddie
One hed a peppermaint ain dont gait maissy
One hev uh oo pumcake
One likea Jenny Lake
Jerry like to sownbaithe
Bowt nowt ait Eny laik
Eddie like not even Gow, but
Now diffrence butween thaim you will know

Jerry to Eddie, Eddie to Jerry
Jerry to Eddie, Eddie to Jerry
Jerry to Eddie, Eddie to Jerry
One iz never ready ain one iz a hairy

12 Snaiks Vs Crownchers

Hey did ewe evher see thait foozbawl pais from
Jerry Sanderson to Eddie Fut-Hut? oh you dedth? Oh, you mowst be a snaik vs crownchers fan then… Leesten

I know the snaik
I know the crowncher
They play oon video gaim in tha sowmmer
One hev a sweven, won have a schforty
One hev a kick-foot they nickname eet shorty
One nowmber schfity have a keckpais he miss
Bowt he play for tha crownchers so nobody iz pezzed off
Get to tha sowbway for tha video gaim this Sownday
We go weef Hot dug, Baisketbawl, aind Pumcake
Staip to tha eece mushine for getting me uh swifty
That uh crushed ice thet
Costing dollur fifty
And thet low nowmber, it a great day for
Getting hot caik an watching Snaik vs Crownchers

Crownchers versus Snaiks
Snaiks versis Crownchers
They wheel play oon video gaim in tha summer
I always wondering why sowmmer is hot
Grab a goat milk and then hit tha parkhing lowt
Snaiks versus crownchers
Crownchers versus snaiks
They wheel play oon bezbol gaim until it breaks and ith
Maiks me maidth whain they
Dont play uh gaim
They both hev bezbol hait but yooz different naim

It iz down forty points an the snaiks hev the bawl
Jerry namath make a touchpass off to benjamin frankfooter, he hev a wide goal een frownt
He Rown
He make a touchpais off to electroslide benjamin for the pais
He make a touch yard to elouise delenor zuckercorn
He have a five yard touchpais to make a touch off in a goal or a down zone, making sweft! Keck
Ainnnnnn
He mess
He could hev steel tried in deefrent direcshun, like maybe to right
I mean, I know whut, Jerry should have depended on tha waind to tale hem
Whale, we culd hev at leest ooh hut dug an chep
Who could aisk for enytheeng ailse
To be here on this howt day, two bee honest, I like the Crownchers eqwelly

Crownchers versus Snaiks
Snaiks versis Crownchers
They wheel play oon video gaim in tha summer
I always wondering why the sowmmer is a hot
Grab a goat’s milk and then hit tha parkhing lowt
Snaiks versus crownchers
Crownchers versus Snaiks
They wheel play oon bezbol gaim until it breaks and ith
Maiks me maidth whain they
Dont play uh gaim
They both hev bezbol hait but yooz oon different naim

13 Deepspace 59

Hashmeer: Hey Peppermaint Joe, You see that lahdie over thare?
Peppermaint Joe: Yais
Hashmeer: You know what i would like to dew to her?
Peppermaint Joe: Mmm, Whawth?
Hashmeer: Taik her into Deep Spaice, and dew a “59” on her alllllllllll nigthe!

Deepspace 59
Deep-deepspace 59

Nevurmind the Wine ain Dine we do the Deepspace 59!

14 Meedul Eest Meericul

Hey DJ Turturro, tail them about this

DJ Erik Turturro attorney ait law aka Karen Smeth “The Harpsichord” iz doing a rap nohw:

Waik up in the afternoon surrounded by shladies
They were so good I won’t even make them pay me
I hearing message on my phone from other night
Just your mowther saying she loves my shaith
Go to kitchenwette, grab a cereal bowl
Eat some Flava Flapes, go thaim covered in gowld
I kick down the door, time to go offside
Got attacked by a rat but now he have died
So I walk to the store with rat in hand
And I try to sell it to the grocery man
He say, Not today, we have rats already
But talk to my son, his name is Freddie
I say I cannot, I am a busy man
But he comes at me with bread in hand
I said to the man don’t get hystericul
Don’t hate me, I’m a Meedul eest Meericul

I got all ten fingers, I’m a Meedul eest Meericul
I got a 10-pack of Sprike, I’m a Meedul eest Meericul
I made a slam donk, I’m a Meedul eest Meericul
I made a Hhat out of grass, I’m a Meedul eest Meericul
Bowt now he liv in Yew Nork

I run from the store, but the old man chase me
Hopped on tha byke, so the old man race me
Dropped thumb tack, so the man miss place me
Made a ten foil hat, now the cowps can’t trace me
Met a young cait, and his name was Jaims
I said to him, Don’t you think that name is strange
He looked me owp and down, but he didn’t make a sownd
Then he jumped to the grownd and he rolled all around
Looked at a clock, it was after ate
Forgot about school, now I’m running lait
I ran to my seat and said I was delaid
But I got kicked out cuz I’ve never paid
I got so angry that I went to the deen
He said, This is Joke College, it isn’t fhree
I said it iz mistake is shurely clerical
Don’t expail me, I’m a Meedul eest Meericul

I’ve got schfourteen brothers, I’m a Meedul eest Meericul
I once saw uh bird, I’m a Meedul eest Meericul
I invented iced tee, I’m a Meedul eest Meericul
I don’t know any Karls, I’m a Meedul eest Meericul
Bowt now he liv in Yew Nork

And now we live in Yew Nork!

15 Smartypant

Smartypant Smartypant
What-what Smartypant
Smartypant Smartypahnt
What-what Smartypant…

Michael Jhordan!
Mikel Zhordahn!

16 Cook the Cookies

Dont try and eet dog
Dont fry and eet dog
Dont try and eet dog
Dont fry and eet dog
Dont try and eet dog
Dont fry and eet dog
Dont try and eet dog
Dont fry and eet dog
Hey leesten

If ur looking for some thing two cook
Cook a cookie downt reed uh book
Book jus hev, a bownch owf pages
Cookie is right for tha every ages
Downt eet dowg
Downt eet cait
I try eet dowg they say ewe
Caint eet thait
Sainta brought hashmeer a bezbol bait now
Hashmeer hit homerun whut yu theenk uv thait
I heer he’s coming down tha chimanee aginn
This time yais he bringing frains
You know what you gonna coook for thaim
Cook a cookie i mean prepare uh cookie

Cook tha cookies prepare tha cookies
Cook tha coookies prepare tha cookies
Cook tha cookies prepare tha cookies
Cook tha coookies prepare tha cookies
Cook tha cookies prepare tha cookies
Cook tha coookies prepare tha cookies
Cook tha cookies prepare tha cookies
Cook tha coookies prepare thaim

I hev made cookies all night
Eef it did nowt, it not puh-lite
Hashmeer also hev bought oon sprite
But for mahsailf, tha elves get mailk
What u think i going two drink
Thees is not oo skating Rink
Do you see an ooce skate
No i downt theenk! you cain go to fraince
I try to tale ewe Before
Elves go a chimanee downt taik door
Downt taik staip, downt taik uh fighter jait
Actually wrung!, yais taik fighter jait
That is if you conider Ox a fighter jet
And we do
You know what we also do
Whain tha sainta come aina hip hop crew
We cook tha cookies i mean prepare tha cookies

Go hashmer go hashmeer go
Go hashmeer go hashmeer shashmeer
Go hashmeer go hashmeer go
Go hashmeer go hashmeer shashmeer
Go hashmer go hashmeer go
Go hashmeer go hashmeer shashmeer
Go hashmeer go hashmeer go
Cook tha cookies, prepare tha cookies

Go dj erik go dj erik go
Go dj erik go dj er-ik
Go dj erik go dj erik go
Go dj erik go dj erik
Go dj erik go dj erik go
Go dj erik go dj er-ik
Go dj erik go dj erik go
Cook tha cookies prepare tha cookies

Go pep joe go pep joe go
Go pep joe go peppermaint joe
Go pep joe go pep joe go
Go pep joe go peppermaint joe
Go pep joe go pep joe go
Go pep joe go peppermaint joe
Go pep joe go pep joe go
Cook tha cookies, prepare tha cookies

Go Group X go Group X go
Go Group X go Group X go go
Go Group X go Group X go
Go Group X go Group X go go

17 Dublin Donuts

Dublin Donuts Dublin Donuts
Dont hev won dubble owp and go nuts
Dublin Donuts Dublin Donuts
Dont hev won dubble owp and go nuts
Dublin Donuts Dublin Donuts
Dont hev won dubble owp and go nuts
Dublin Donuts Dublin Donuts
Dont hev won dubble owp and go nuts

Choclit
Strawbowm
Nan
Banaan
Whaaaaaaat
I hev won in th middul uv han
I wawnt two pleez understand
Donut Dubble Up
Want boyfrain girlfrain then couple owp
Get under cowver ain snowggle owp
They chew gum, want to blow bubble up
I like a donut, I like a sprinkle
I like a Christmas
Go talk to Kringle
I em speeking about oon sweet
I em speeking about oo treet
Dublin Donuts iz unique
They wawnt you to have two jows like feet
Jows like hand, jowst like eer
Wawnt two donuts you will get greet at

I go to
Tha Dublin Donuts
They hev uh fly thru
That iz why i go nuts
Donuts all day
And awl night
25 hour just to be prusice
Bowt downt hev one
Thet is where tha fown stowp
They demaind thet you hev too, and that’s non-stowp
Thets why they call it dublin donuts
Order won, they aisk you try dubble up
Jows say yais
Dont try too impress
Lady hev dress
Man hev paint
Baby like daince
Child like traince
Go into a traince uv donuts get enough
Aisk yur mowm, aind aisk yur daid
If after heering hashmeer they feeling glad
They wheel say
They heppy grown ups
Because they took too ain nut won Dublin Donuts

18 Debit Cahrd

Want to pay debeet card
Only take credeet card
Want to pay debeet card
Only take credeet card
Want to pay debeet card
Want to pay debeet card
Want to pay debeet card
Only take credeet card

Whut is this theeng
They calling a chep
You do nut hev it
You knot equip
What is this theeng they not taiking my debit cahrd
I do nut care, i dont giv uh shet
I am go see dj perox on oon triceeclette
I em nut hiding it like you on oon beeceeclette
Whain i get thair
He tailling me mega hard
How they are disrespecting on heez debeet card

Want to pay debeet card
Only take credeet card
Want to pay debeet card
Only take credeet card
Want to pay debeet card
Want to pay debeet card
Want to pay debeet card
Only take credeet card

He go to try it and
They would deny it
They would tale heem you go
Home or be quiet
I telling him that i dont get uh chep
He then agree, ain want to dew flep
Wawont to dew credeet
Betther four ghet it
Better to go find
Big rabeet ain pet it
Rabbeet is not big, i changing the topic
Back to your Chep
It better to drowp it

Want to pay debeet card
Only take credeet card
Want to pay debeet card
Only take credeet card
Want to pay debeet card
Want to pay debeet card
Want to pay debeet card
Only take credeet card

19 Betwixt Angel & Centipede

Sung at Nighthe by Karen Smeth “The Harpsichord”

Spend all your time waiting
For that nine o clock chance
To put some whipped cream on your face
There’s always a season
To feel tough in the butt
And it’s hard when you know you’re replaced
I need some protection
Oh, pitiful release
As cranberries spin down the drain
Let me be emptied
Oh and pantless and maybe
I’ll find febreeze tonight

Betwixt an angel and a centipede
Lie awake in fear
In this hard, cold no-tell room
While your innocence disappears
You are pumped full of courage
While you brush your hair silently
Betwixt an angel and a centipede
May you find some protein here

So tired of that day life
And the milky sun that burns
Those cultures that feed you like rats
Your hair keeps on tangling
You keep on closing your eyes
Just pretending you can’t see those bats
You can’t see the difference
Between lemons and limes
It’s easy to use them to clean
But not when you’re changing
And not rearranging
The fridge that’s so full of bees

“Weasels” by The Great Depressionettes

Rumba-
Hey, we’re The Great Depressionettes
Rumba, Nellie, and Fran.
We wanna rap to ya about what’s goin’ on these days
with the New Trust, only bein’ able to get our hands on at least half a sugah cube a week
and especially… Weasels

Weasels, that’s what we ate
Weasels, that’s what we ate
Weasels, that’s what we ate
Weasels, Don’t get Measles

Weasels, that’s what we ate
Weasels, that’s what we ate
Weasels, that’s what we ate
Weasels, Don’t get Measles

Rumba –
Went to tha store for uh Sugar Cube
Man says he wants to see me “Rubix Cube”
I say no I’m Not showin’ ya me “Rubix Cube”
I’m not doin that for a Sugah Cube
Every night an Opossum is great
eat w/ Depresionettes, their my mates
we plan ta listen and not be late, for tha
radio show that ends at 8′
Nellie is cleanin’ the sugah cube bowl
Fran is out on tha Sugah Cube stroll
Eatin’ opossum, it takes its toll
Tomorrow Night, Opossum on roll
Watch the New Trust theyre a Bunch o’ Pips
Hidden a sugah cube in my slip
We might be feeble but we
take a bite of otha people’s Weasels,
don’t get Measles

Weasels, that’s what we ate
Weasels, that’s what we ate
Weasels, that’s what we ate
Weasels, Don’t get Measles

Weasels, that’s what we ate
Weasels, that’s what we ate
Weasels, that’s what we ate
Weasels, Don’t get Measles

Nellie-
Rumba, Nellie, Fran…. NELLIE!
Haven’t had peanut buttah
since i had jellie
only got half a sugah cube in me belly
Flip Morse Code, they invented tellie!
can’t afford tellie cause we
can’t afforhd food
Had a bite o’ Possum
now i’m in a better mood
Look at Fran!
What’s in her hand?!
What’s she hidin’?!
I think uh Sugah Cube

Fran-
Hey it’s Fran and there’s nothin’ i’m hidin’
Watch ’em make electricity from lightning
Fightin’ “tha Trust” in tha
name uv tha peeple
Got soot on me frum Cleenin’ tha steeple
Only 1 dress is what that equals
Met Hashmeeah now watch for tha sequel
We might be feeble but we take uh bite of otha people’s Weasels,
Don’t get Measles

Weasels, that’s what we ate
Weasels, that’s what we ate
Weasels, that’s what we ate
Weasels, Don’t get Measles

Weasels, that’s what we ate
Weasels, that’s what we ate
Weasels, that’s what we ate
Weasels… Don’t get Measles